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Dr. Young has been a practicing couples therapist for more than 10 years and is currently a staff psychologist at Seattle University. Over the years, she has witnessed both the deepening and the dissolution of relationships as a result of our evolving technological habits – most significantly, the integration of the Internet into nearly every aspect of our daily lives. While we’ve adapted to the benefits and pitfalls of technology in the business sphere, Dr. Young believes that it’s just as important to examine how technology affects the way we communicate and relate to our partners in our personal lives. Ultimately, she believes that technology, when used properly, has the ability to increase intimacy and connectedness for any couple.

Using technology to strengthen your relationship:

1. Find stories or news you know your partner would find interesting and view them together, or e-mail a link to your partner and discuss it together later at your leisure.
2. Share an entire list of favorite online places together by using a bookmark-sharing tool such as http://del.icio.us/
3. Share your favorite user-generated online videos for a laugh or a moment of appreciation.
4. Learn how to do something together by finding recipes or do-it-yourself projects online.
5. Test and enhance each other’s knowledge with words, places or people you learned about through an online encyclopedia or while Web surfing.
6. Play an online game together.
7. Find personal growth Web sites and take quizzes together for discussion.
8. Have a computer dinner date when you have to travel out of town for business. New technologies have made it easier to communicate cheaply or free over great distances. Voice over IP (VoIP) services such as Skype allow partners to talk with each other directly over the Internet (so far, at no charge). If your computer is equipped with a webcam, you can also see your partner while talking with him or her in real time. Surprise your partner by dressing up for the occasion.
9. Snap and send digital pictures of people, places and things you see while you’re traveling for business to bring a sense of shared experience to time away from home. Something as simple as the view from your hotel room window can create a sense of being together.

Avoiding technology pitfalls:

1. Support one another in prioritizing your relationship. Take the time to have an honest conversation about where to draw the line as a couple on behaviors that take time away from a balanced life together.
2. Dr. Shirley Glass has created a self-test and many resources that may be helpful to you if you are at risk for or currently involved in an online affair. You can find these at http://www.shirleyglass.com/quizonline.php.
3. Compulsive use problems require external intervention and support. Dr. Kimberly Young founded the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery and has several quizzes on her Web site for assessing whether you have some specific compulsive Internet use problems. She also offers resources for help. See http://www.netaddiction.com/.

NOTE: Qwest is providing the above information as a customer service for educational purposes only. Qwest assumes no liability for the use of this information and does not guarantee that following the recommendations provided will prevent fraud.